


When All Hope Is Lost

by TheBookHipster



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, M/M, clace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 06:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 9,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4909399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBookHipster/pseuds/TheBookHipster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every since Clary was 12, her mother has been missing, forcing her and her big brother to move in with their father. All of a sudden, her brother starting to abuse her, ontop of her fathers abuse. When she starts school at Shadowhunter High, stuff starts to change for her....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's so short, I'm not entirely sure if anyone's going to read this.

_**Chapter 1** _

**(Clary's POV)**

Beep!  
Beep!  
Beep!

My alarm clock blares angrily, interrupting my dreamless sleep. After two more beeps, I decide to not snooze. If I hurry up, I might be able to sneak out the house before my dad and brother get up to harass me.

After a longer shower than expected (I decided to wash my hair), I get back to my room and put on the outfit that I picked out yesterday. I check the clock. 7:45. Good, I might have some time to sneak out before they wake up...

"Clarissa. Get down here right now!" Valentine (my father) shouts from the kitchen. Wow, I spoke too soon. Valentine stands at the bottom of the stairs with a dish in his hand. I guess I forgot to do them last night.

"What is this?" he puts it in my face, it almost touches my nose.

"A dirty dish," I mumble, hoping he can't hear me. He hits me in the cheek with it, the glass shards cutting me in the ear. I fall to the ground and clutch my cheek.

"Go clean up your cheek. And if you are late to school, that won't be thw only pain you be feeling today." I nod my head before rushing up the stairs, tears rushing down my cheeks making it sting more.

I stop crying before I enter the bathroom. I quickly wash my injury with my wash rag, then throwing it in the clothes bin do to the fact it's covered in blood.

The door suddenly opens, and I gasp. Sebastian comes in grabs my arm, and starts sucking on the skin near my neck until it leaves a mark. A love bite. I'm not sure if he loves me but I certainly do not love him. He pulls my face up to his before slightly kissing me.

"Remember sister, you are mine and I am yours." he lets my arm go. I run to my room, grab my bag and jacket, then rush out before he decides he's not done with me.

I cry on my walk to school, pretty sure no one will notice (or care) by time I get there.

_To love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be that one destroyed_

**Word total: 381 words.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2** _

**(Isabelle's POV)**

"Are you going to hang out with Aline today?" asks my brother Alec in the car ride to school. He always trys to start small talk and fails miserably. I roll my eyes.

"No! I told you we weren't friends anymore two weeks ago!" him and my adopted brother, Jace share a look.

"Right, I totally forgot." Lies. He probably wasn't even listening.

"So who are you going to hang out with?" Jace cocks his head to the side in question.

"You, idiot," I laugh, reaching across Alec to punch Jace's shoulder.

"Alright, have fun at school!" mom shouts, and the doors on the van open. We all say something back to her before walking up to the school building.

Time to make some new friends.

( **Jace's POV)**

Most of the girls stare at me as me and Isabelle (Alec has school in a different building, and we only see him at lunch) walk through the hallway. I should be used to it, I know, but having boys glaring at my jealously (or starting at me like the ladies) it's kind of getting old.

"Jacey!" Kaelie shouts, running up and hugging me. Another cheerleader named Helen looked Isabelle up and down. Isabelle glares at her.

"Kaelie, get off him. If my brofher catches your STD's I'm going to be pissed off." We both smirk as Kaelie jumps off me. Before she can say anything back, she runs into a girl, making her fall...

**(Clary's POV)**

"Hey watch it loser!' a girl turns around and looks down at me on the floor. Even when I'm standing up, she towers over me. I know I'm short, but she doesn't look to tall so I guess she's wearing heels.

"I don't know who you think you are, but you ran into ME. Maybe you should take your owm advice and watch wherre YOU are going." she looks stunned, then it turned into a glare.

"Oh wow, red head wants to come to this school and disrespect me ? At least I'm not the one with an abusive boyfriend." she makes comments on my scar and 'love bite'. She has me speeches, but the girl behind her speaks for me.

"How would you know that? Did you go to the wrong house while stalking Jace?" she looks embarrassed before clicking away in her heels.

Now that her and whoever was with her are gone, I can get a better look at the girl and what seems to be her boyfriend.

The girl is beautiful, she has long jet black hair with blue eyes. As for the boy, beautiful would be an understatement and an insult to his looks. He looks like he fell from heaven. Golden eyes, blonde hair, he looks way better than Sebastian...

" _Remember Clary, your mine, and I'm yours."_

_" To love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be that one destroyed."_

I dont even feel bad when I rush past them to art without a simple hello or goodbye.

**Word total: 505 words**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3** _

**(Clary's POV)**

When I walk into the classroom, I make sure the my jacket is ziped up to make sure no one can see the mark given to me by my brother.

I try to sneak to a seat, but the teacher grabs my arm. Did I break the uniform code or something? Or is this lady just harassing me for no reason?

"Oh, hello dear, you must be Clarissa Fray, tbe new student." the lady smiles a toothless smile at me, "well I guess you can have a seat for now, we can introduce you later." She finally lets go of me, and now there is only one seat left. Great.

The table has four seats, two of the people sitting there (a boy and a girl) aren't facing my way so I can't see their faces. The other person (a girl), is a bit darker than the other two with brown hair. I sit down before I realize they are the couple from the hall.

"Hi I'm Isabelle, but you can call me Izzy," the girl with the jet black hair says, holding her hand out. Does everything about her have to be perfect? Her nails are painted perfectly, with purple nail polish. You can't spot a flaw on them...

"I'm Clarissa, but you can call me Clary." we sit there shaking hands for a minute before she face palms herself.

"Oh right, this is my brother Jace, and our friend Maia." I stare at her in disbelief.

"I thought he was your boyfriend." I blurt out, and she just laughs. Before she can say anything back, the lady starts talking.

**(Isabelle's POV)**

I laugh at her. She actually thought I was Jace's girlfriend? I'm am one of the few girls Jace hasn't tried a relationship with. Jace always breaks up with girls, he isn't some player or anything, I guess he just doesn't have any luck with girls. Kaelie was one of the clingy ones. But then again, it's kinda my fault they broke up.. Not that I felt bad or anything.

I think it was kinda cool how Clary stood up to Kaelie like that, so I decide that I like her.

"Today we are going to do portraits," Ms. Herondale says. You'd think because they have the same last name, her and Jace be related but Jace explained this long process thing that ended with his dad remarring blah blah.

**(Clary's POV)**

"You will be drawing the person across to you. You will have a week to finish, even if you have to take it home with you, you and your partner must be finished by next Monday. Also, you will keep this partner for the rest of the year. You may start."

All the stuff we need are infront of us. I start to turn to Maia, but then I remember we have to work with the person across from us.

"I guess your working with me," Jace smiles at me.

To love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be that one destroyed

"Yeah I guess," I avoid looking at him as I draw. Why is this so hard? What is it about this kid?

"You okay?" Jace asks, his golden eyes looking at me. I feel myself gripping the pencil so hard my hand is white.

"Yeah," I ball up the paper and throw it away just as the bell rings.

_To love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be that one destroyed_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 590


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been awhile... Oops. I've been a bit over busy and forgot about Archive. I promise not to let it happen again! Anyways, on with the story!

Chapter 4

(Clary's POV)

*time skip to lunch*

"Pleeeeese Clary?" Isabelle begs for the 10th time. She wanta me to sit at a table with her and her friends. And I don't want to.

"Fine," I say and let her drag me off to the table. It has Maia, Jace and 4 other people I dont know. There are only two seats left. One next to a stranger, and one next to Jace. Well, better sitting next to an Angel rather a stranger.

"Clary, this is Simion, Alec, and Magnus." Isabelle looks at Simion and Maia's interlocked hands a bit.jealously. 

"Hi," I wave at them before grabbing my sketch book. I need to try and draw Jace again. How hard can it be?

"Hey, Clare-bear," Sebastian walks over to the table. Great. He kisses me on the cheek before talking again. "What are you doing sitting with this fag?" He points to Alec and he abruptly gets up, only to get pulled down by Izzy.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Jace glares at hin, looks at him like something from the bottom of his shoe. Before I can even respond, Sebastian responses for me.

"Yes I am you have a problem with that?" They glare at each other for a second before he turns to me, "Let's go Clarissa." I have absolutely no say as he drags me away from the table. Into the bathroom.

"What the hell were you doing with those losers?" Sebastian asks, shoving me against the wall.

"Those losers are my friends Sebastian!" I shout back and he slaps me. I fall to the ground, holding my cheek.

"You are mine. You will listen to me. Do not hang out with them or you will suffer. 

"Give me on reason why-" I don't get to finish my sentence before he slams his lips on mine. He bites my lip so hard I taste the blood. I gasp , giving his tounge entrance into my mouth. He.puts his hands under my clothes, feeling over my body. He starts toching me everywhere. I can't do this anymore. This can't be my life anymore. 

After he is done with me, he slams me up against the wall again.

"Remember sister, you are mine and I am yours."

To love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be that one destroyed

I crawl under the sink, unable to stop the shaking and the tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 407


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all happy November! Sorry if the chapters look like absolute crap to you guys, I have no idea how to add italics and bold to the chapters on Archive. Anyways, enjoy!

Chapter 5

(Clary's POV)

I can't live like this anymore. I just need to go away. I bring the knife up to my stomach. Nobody will miss me.

(Isabelle's POV)

We all where taken aback from Clary's taste in men. In all honesty, meeting her boyfriend made me want to stop being her friend all together. But, I can't do that. She's my friend and just because her boyfriend's a little shit ball doesn't mean I'm going to stop being her friend. 

After lunch I deicide to go catch up with Clary. 

"Hey Maia have you seen Clary?" I would ask Jace but he threw his sandwich down and walked out soon after. I really don't know what's up with him but I don't think he appreciated Clary's boyfriend calling Alec a fag. Yeah, that's it. 

"No I haven't," she must see the worried look on my face because she adds, "don't worry, she'll be fine. How about you check the bathroom and I'll check the class."

When I get to the bathroom, I hear sobbing. 

"Hello? Are you okay?" The person muffles their sobs. I check all the bathrooms, busting all the doors open. Nothing. I finally look under the sink to see Clary with a knife to her stomach.

"Clary what are you doing?!" I just about scream. Some people must have heard it because I get a call from Jace.

"Are you okay?" he asks through the phone, the worry evident in his voice.

"I'm fine, I just seen a spider," I take the knife from Clary as she sobs softly. I hang up and text Maia that I'm skipping. Why I'm lying for Clary, I don't know.

"Clary, what's wrong sweetie?" I reluctantly sit on the ground with her.

She puts her head in her hands and mummbles "nothing."

"Clary, you just tried to kill yourself and I just lied to my brother so you must tell me what a wrong." I raise my voice a bit irritated.

(Clary's POV)

She speaks like I must tell her. Well, she does have a point. I just don't want to tell her anything. What if she tells someone. What if she tells Jace? Or that slut that stopped me in the halls? 

"I can't, " I look down to the ground for comfort. She's probably going to tell everyone what she seen. 

"Clary, please tell me what's so bad. I promise not to tell anyone about any of it." Something in her eyes makes me believe her.

So, I tell her everything about Sebastian. 

(Jace's POV)

Ugh. I dont know what was worse. Swing Clary with that douche for a boyfriend or having math as double period. 

When I walk in the class (minutes late I might add), Isabelle is no where to be found.

"Where's Izzy?' I ask Maia after a long scolding from the teacher. 

"She said something about skipping, probably not tired of Clary's dead fashion." I groan, hitting my head on the desk. Great. Now I have to deal with this class and the girls. I mean, sometimes it's good to have the girls liking you but sometimes it's just plain annoying.

Thank the Angel for the fire drill. 

Word Count: 534


	6. Chapter 6

Clary's POV)

As me and Izzy walk back to class, I spot my long time friend, Simon. 

*Flashback*

"Why are you doing this Johnny? You said you would never change your name because it was disrespectful!" I stomp my feet at my older brother. He's letting father change his name!

"Your going to change your name to Clary," I widen my eyes in surprise 

"No I'm not!" Something's different about him, I just can't put my finger on it. He walks up and kisses me full on the mouth.

"What the hell Johnny!" Me, being very small for 13 kick him in the leg. And he slaps me to the ground. I feel the tears growing in my eyes before I run. He tries to chase me but doesn't seem capable of jumping down all the stairs.

I run all the way down the street before knocking on one of our across the street neighbor's house. A boy around my age with glasses and brown, curly hair answers the door.

"Let me in! I cry, before pushing him aside and running in his house. The boy closes the door and looks at me confused. 

"What's wrong?" He asks me.

"My brother and dad at we trying to get me to change my name!" I sit on the carpet.

"I'm Simon Lewis, what's your name?" he holds out his hand to me.

"Clary Fray," I take it and he pulls me up off the ground. 

"I'll be right back, the phone is ringing," Simon leaves to answer the phone. When he comes back he's pale as paper.

"What's wrong?" I ask him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"They're looking for you Clary."

*End* 

Simon stands in front of me, and I don't hesitate to wrap my arms around him.

"Hey Clary, it's been a while," which was true, he had moved last year. 

"I missed you so much Si," I hug him tighter.

"How long have you been here?" he asks, petting my head. I really hates when he does that, but I haven't seen him in year so why not?

"Just today! We finally get to go to the same school! I'm excited!"

"Clary, could you let me go now, your kinda stopping me from breathing."

(Isabelle's POV)

Clary hugs a guy who screams nerd. He has curly, brown hair and glasses. 

They talk for about a minute before she lets him go.

"Simon Lewis," he holds out his hand to me and I shake it, making my legs turn into jello.

"Isabelle Lightwood." What he says next surprises me.

"You are a heartbreaker Isabelle Lightwood."

Word Count: 439


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So while looking over my chapters, apparently chapter 3 was never published. I don't know why, but maybe you guys should check that out :). Anyways, on with the chapter!

Chapter 7

(Clary's POV)

It's been a whole week since I've started at this school and Jace has been avoiding me like the plauge. I think he's forgetting we have a project to work on! I'm going to confront him at his locker. I AM NOT going to fail.

(Izzy's POV)

*two days earlier*

I see Jace making out with some random red head, in the hall, a different one from yesterday. And it's been like this all week. Not to mention he hasn't been sitting with us at lunch. Not thst he's actually eating lunch. This needs to stop NOW!

"Go home and quit bringing shame to your family!" I pull the girl off Jace who looks very shocked and push her to the stairs. She stomps down the remaining stairs, her heels clicking on each one. I keep my eyes on her until she reaches the door. She sends me a glare (which I gladly return) and Jace a smile (which he doesn't) before slamming the door.

"What the hell Izzy!" he shouts and I slap him hard in the face. He grips his cheek with his left hand, glaring at me.

"I don't know what's wrong with you, but whatever it is needs to stop NOW. I don't want to see you kissing another random red headed slut..." I drift of into realization. After all, Jace doesn't have a type.

"You like Clary," I start slowly, a big smile appears on my face.

"No I don't, and even if I did, she has a boyfriend anyway, remember that?" he stomps into his room as the smile leaves my face. He doesn't know about the whole Sebastian thing. I sigh, remembering my promise to Clary.

(Clary's POV) 

*that day*

I decide to wait until lunch time to confront him. I pretend to be at my locker, fummbling with stuff in my locker. He's been kissing random chicks every single lunch, (which bothers me more than it should) so I decide against talking to him there.

I see him walking alone down the hallway with his head down and hands in his pockets as though he doesn't want to be seen. It's now or never.

"Hey Herondale!" I step infront of him as he snaps his head up. He goes to talk but I swiftly interrupt him. "What the hell's your problem? Listen, you don't have to like me but we still have a project to work on! And if I fail well gusss what, I'm going to beat your ass." He looks at me for a second, staring into my eyes. His are golden, like an angel, corresponding with every other part of him. He steps forward every so slightly and cups my cheek in his hand, a movement so soft, so un Jace like that it startles me. His hands are soft like a baby's. I can hear my heart racing at this closeness, my breath hitching in my throat.

"Come to Isabelle's sleepover. You can finish it there." he's so close I can feel his breath on my face as I close my eyes.

And he walks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 520
> 
> You guys thought you were going get that Clace? 
> 
> To be honest I haven't ever written something this romantic. So if this kinda blows sorry! (Maybe I should read some romance?)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt so bad about not updating lately, so you guys get a double update! Enjoy

(Jace's POV)

What is wrong with you? I almost kissed her, but it this can't happen. Clary has a boyfriend. But I've never wanted someone this bad. 

I splash water on my face, looking into the mirror. 

"Jace, is it?" her boyfriend walks into the bathroom, standing behind me.

"What do you want Sebastian?" I spit out his name like posion and glare at him through the mirror.

"This isn't about you, it's about Clary," at the sound of her name my heartbeat quickens. I slowly turn around, gripping the sink so hard my knuckles turn white.

"What do you want?" He looks me up and down before laughing.

"Stay away from Clary. Or you'll reget it." Now it a mg turn to laugh.

"Every moment I spend with her will be worth it, and when I'm done I'll wait to see you smug little face and you'll just know I had your girl." I smirk at him. And that's when he swings on me.

(Clary's POV)

As Izzy and I talk to Simon by his locker, we hear a crash in the boy's bathroom, just a few lockers down. Boys rush in the bathroom at the sound of the noise, as they chant 'fight fight!'

A guy who looks a lot like Izzy comes out, basically dragging Jace.

"Alec what happened?!" Izzy runs up to them and only then do I realize Alec is covered in blood. But not his blood. Jace's blood.

"This idiot was fighting douchebag in the bathroom!" Alec slaps Jace in the face.

(Jace's POV)

Less than a minute after Alec slaps me, Sebastian pulls Clary away from the scene, unseen by anyone expect me.

"Luckily for you all the teachers are at a meeting now or you would be in serious trouble!" Alec scolds me.

"Hey where'd Clary go?" Izzy asks, determined to change the subject.

"Oh she just left with her boyfriend," I shrug.

"You mean her pet douchebag," Alec corrects, but I don't think she heard me because she's already running down the hall.

(Isabelle's POV)

I feel so angry! How could they let Clary get taken by her freaky brother? Oh right, she didn't tell them. She didn't want to tell me either, but I got her to.

BAM! A girl runs into me, knocking me onto the ground.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, please don't hurt me!" she offers me one hand to help me up, another is covering her face.

"Relax, I'm Isabelle. I'm having a sleepover tonight wanna come?"

"Sure," the girl gives me a warm smile, "I'm Steelie by the way." 

(Clary's POV)

He drags me into a closet before shoving me up against the wall. I hit my head against it and what smells like pine soil spills ontop of my head.

"What the hell was that for!" I shout, and instantly regret it. A wave of dizziness hits me, and I can already see the black spots in my vision.

"Stay away from Herondale. And Lightwood. And everyone I told you to, you understand?" he shifts over and I can see the shinner below his eye. He doesn't even wait for my response before slamming the door and leaving the closet.

Word Count: 529

Great, now Sebastian's mad, let's not make him even madder.

Izzy met the queen! And she asked her not to punch her. What's her problem?  
Who do you think won the fight


	9. Chapter 9

(Clary's POV) 

I wake up in the bathroom, more known as the 'haunted bathroom' for some reason. 

"Are you alright?" Izzy peers over me worriedly. I whip my head up, only to put it back down due to my pounding headache.

"How did I get here?" I slowly lift up myself up using the wall.

"I got Jace to carry you hear using my no questions asked." I blush at the thought of Jace carrying me. She must of have seen it because she smirks.

(Izzy's POV)

"Crushing on Jace much?" I ask. He likes her, and I don't normally like my friends dating him, but they would make a perfect couple.

"Isabelle I don't think you can really talk, look at the way you look at Simon," and she was right. Every since I met him it's like the other boys don't even matter.

"What? I don't know what your talking about," I lie. After all, he's Clary's best friend and I just can't do that to her.

"You were just thinking about him, weren't you?" I give up and sigh.

"It would be wrong of me to take your best friend like that. Besides it's just a little crush. I'll get over it." No I won't. But trying will help.

"You can. Me and Simon will always be friends, nothing more. You have a shot to become his girlfriend and there's no one I'd rather take that position." I laugh, then decide to help her up.

"Come on, we have English for last hour."

*Time skip*

"Come on Clary, pack faster, my sleepover starts at 6, and it's almost 5!" I rush Clary to get her stuff out her locker.

"Done," she swigs her bookbag over her shoulders and walks with me out of the building. 

"Jace! Alec! Hurry up!" I shout into the building. Jace comes out first, staring at something. I follow his eyes until I trace it back to Clary. I snap my fingers infront of his face. He blinks for a second, before pulling me to the side.

"Izzy, you were right, I'm in love with Clary. I almost kissed her today."

"Of course I was r- wait WHAT!" I yell a bit too loud. Clary looks at us in confusion before I wave her off.

"I didn't do it, she has a boyfriend," he whisper yells. Before I can respond to him, Alec comes out the building and over to us.

"What are you guys doing?" Alec asks.

"Nothing. I'm going over with Clary to wait on Simon and Maia." As I walk away I notice a bit of glitter on his cheek. Why the hell does he have glitter on his cheek? I decide not to bring it up, instead I walk over to Clary whose playing with her hands.

"How are you feeling?" She didn't want bandaging on her head so the wound is healing on it's own.

"Just a bit dizzy, otherwise I'm fine," she reassures me with a smile.

"I'm glad you decided to come to the sleepover. What made you decide to come?" she looks to the ground while answering.

"Well I figured why not, plus it will give me extra time to work on my project with Jace," she redens as soon as she says his name.

"How cute, you and Jaceypoo get to spend extra time together," I tease, and she turns the same shade as her hair.

"Shutup, y-," she stops short as Simon and Maia come out the building.

"What took you so long?" Alec asks, annoyed.

"We have an announcement to make!" Maia squeals, exicited.

"Me and Simon are together!" 

I can hear my heart break.

Word count: 613

So... Simon and Maia. Do they even have a ship name? I don't ship them really so...

Why does Alec have glitter on his cheek?

Don't forget to review :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news: After this point and on, my writing is 25% better (in my opinion) since my writing style changed. Well, hope you enjoy!

Chapter 10

(Clary's POV)

Isabelle's fists ball up and she looks as though she's going to cry.

"Izzy and I are going to go to Starbucks," I grab her hand a pull her away. It was good timing too. As soon as we got into her car she started sobbing.loudly.

"I c-ccant belive this!" she sobs into her hand. I feel for her too. She just admitted she fell for Simon just to have him snatched from her grasp.

"It's okay, if it's meant to be you'll have him back soon."

"I'm okay," she says very serious, leaving the sad state she was just in behind. The way she did that was just a bit abnormal.

"Yeah, I'm not going to let him ruin my party today, I've been planning a 'Back to school' party for weeks!" We both laugh.

"Iz, sorry, I can't go to Starbucks with you, I have to pack," I hop out the car. Nobody is in the parking lot which means no explaining. 

When I get into the house I almost drop to the ground from the smokey smell. Valentine must be pissed. That's the only time he ever smokes.

I almost pass out as I trudge up the stairs to get to my room. I throw my bookbag somewhere into my room before ploping down on my bed to pick up my phone. On Fridays Valentine does a phone check so we can't take them with us. I have 9 messages.

Iz: Clary what about Starbucks  
Iz: Why'd you leave  
Iz: Clary Fray if you do not answer me!  
Iz: Clary?  
Iz: Clary are you okay?  
Iz: Are you still coming?  
Iz: Hellllllllllo  
Iz: If you don't answer I'm gonna get Jace to come check on you  
Iz: I just seen Maia and Simon kiss :( 

She must be so worried! And annoying too. I mean who texts someone who you aren't related to that many times? I decide to text back.

Clary: Sorry I didn't have my phone on me. Yeah I'm still coming to the party, and don't worry I'm still in one pierce xD

Iz: Oh thank the angel! I was so worried.

Before I can respond I hear Valentine call me downstairs. Great, what did I do now? 

I take one last gulp.of fresh air before walking out into the smoke. And I take my sweet time walking down thw stairs too. He makes mistakes a lot when he's like this. One time, he was beating me with a baseball bat, and instead of the back, he missed terribly and hit me in the jaw. I couldn't talk for weeks. And well, we don't want that to happen again, do we?

"Yes father?" I walk into the smoke covered room known as the kitchen. His eyes are really red and bloodshot, probably from drinking.

"How come you didn't come in and say hi?" Great, now he's just looking for things to be mad about.

"I'm very sorry father, I couldn't see you well," I cough, overwhelmed by the smoke in the room. He grabs on of his beer bottles and slams it up against my back. I groan, almost falling from the immediate unexpected pain. I know at this point it's a bad idea, but I decide to ask anyway.

"I have to do homework at a friend's house, and it'll be late by time I come home so could I stay a night?" It's a mostly true statement, I DO have homework to do...

"Why didn't you do it in sxhool? What's your friend's name? And when is it due?" he asks way too many questions, and I know I'm screwed. I know I can't go back and say nevermind, my grades are extremely important to him. So why not tell the truth.

"My friend's name is Isabelle, the project is due on Monday. I didn't have enough time to finish it!" I don't need to see his face to know he's upset.

"I suppose I have no choice but to say yes," his voice is extremely calm, not what I expcted.

Before I can get out of the kitchen, I feel a whip streak across my front side, instead of the back which I am 100% sure he was trying to hit.

The only upside is I'm going to go to Izzy's party.

Word count: 723

A review would be nice. Even if your telling me how horrible my story is


	11. Chapter 11

Clary's POV)

I get my bag packed before calling Simon. He's the only one who can help.

"Hello, Clary? Not a good time," he breathes through the phone sounding breathless. Ew. 

"I know you are making out with your girlfriend right now but this is important," I must sound pained because I hear him say something to Maia before hanging up. Great, what ever happened to bros before hoes?

Five minutes later, he texts me his adress telling me to hurry before it gets infected. I do feel a bit uncomfortable about showing Simon (or any guy) my front side, but it's not like I have any choice.

While walking to his house, I notice how close of a resemblance it is to hia old house. Yellow, white windows, black doors. It's like they picked up their old house and moved it somewhere else.

"Are you kidding me? Your kicking me out for this ugly bitch?!" Maia shouts, obviously angered. They have only been dating one day!

"Maia, quit being crazy! She's my best friend!" He shouts back at her. I can't do this to him. Why make us both suffer? I'm sure he loves her, and he hasn't had a girlfriend in a long time.

Nevermind Si. Turns out I'm fine. Sorry for wasting your time. -C. 

I screwed up so I needed to fix it. Who cares if I'm hurt in the process? I'm dying anyways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a long after of bandaging my body, I'm finally out the house, 40 minutes late. Since it's a nice day I decide to walk."

Hey Clary! Are you seriously ditching us? Is something up with Sebastian? -I

Sorry I'm on my way now! My bad! -C

I quicken up my pace making me only 50 minutes late, although I was expecting to be an hour late. 

When I walk into the room, I see everyone sitting in a circle watching Jace ans some random chick make out. I instantly feel betrayed. How could she watch them kiss like that? She knows how I feel for him and yet-

"Clary! Your finally here!" Izzy rushes over to me as I close the door. Something smells really bad in here.

"What smells so bad?" I scrunch up my nose when Izsy hugs me. She smells a lot like it too. Dis she kill somebody?

"Izzy tried to cook," Maia says and Jace laughs, breaking his kiss with the girl 

"We just finished a game of spin the bottle." I can tell she's smiling: she must have kissed Simon.

"What are we playing now?" I drop my bag down on the ground before sitting down between the girl and Jace, her glare unknown to anyone except me. 

"Truth or dare!" Maia beams, her happiness probably brought on from Simon. Izzy rolls her eyes. Izzy is sitting on one side of Simon, and Maia is on the other. He sends me a small smile, yet I see through it. He knows I was lying about being okay, but he doesn't have any proof. He doesn't even know where the injury is.

"Oh Clary! This is Steelie! Steelie, that is Clary!" she has the fakest smile on her face, but she must use that smile all the time because they believe it.

"Truth or dare Clary!" she smiles at me. I can see right through that smile, you aren't fooling me. 

"Truth." Both ways are horrible for me, but I'd rather tell them something from my past than to be stuck drinking out the toilet like a dog.

"When did you lose your virginity and who did you lose it to?" my breath hitches in my throat as the memory resurfaces.

I was 14, Sebastian 15. Dad had gone on a business trip. Since it was summer time he had me all to himself.

"Clary! Come out of there or I will burst down the door!" he shouts. I cry and freak out. Simon moved a month ago so I can't go to him for help. 

I waited too late to respond. He bursts into my room. His eyes are completly black, an unusual thing. He holds a pair of handcuffs in his hand.

"Please, don't do this!" I shout to him as he starts taking off my clothes.

I get pulled out of my memory by a slamming door. I notice Izzy's seat is gone. Everyone is looking towards the door. 

"I'll go talk to her." I ignore the starea everyone is sending me as I stand up. 

"I need a drink." Izzy pops out from behind the door. She changed into a short, black dress with six inch heels. If she was crying, she covered it up with the midnight eyeshadow. 

"Are you s-" she cuts Jace off.

"Let's go now." she walks out and slams the door behind her, giving us no choice but to follow behind her.

Word count: 822


	12. Chapter 12

**I have this idea for a Clace/Malec/Sizzy mini series following each couple while.. Well I don't want to spoil it too much but it'll be around the same theme as this one. What do you think? Should I post it? Anyways, enjoy the chapter!**

 

_**C**_ _**hapter 12** _

**(Alec's POV)**

Homework. Izzy's so gulable it almost makes me feel bad that I lied to her. Almost.

"Magnus, I'm on my way," I can tell he's smiling through the phone. I double check to make sure nobody's in the house before walking out the house.

I do plan on telling them I'm gay, but not yet. I already know my dad is going to be disappointed in me, which I'm dreading.

As soon as I make it to the door, Magnus pulls me in for a kiss.

"And you say straight people can't control themselves." he smiles before pulling me into the house.

**(Clary's POV)**

Turns out Izzy is a worse driver than she is a cook. She barely misses a car as we swerve down the streets.

"Izzy! Pull the fuck over!" Jace shouts, and she pulls into a gas station. She hops out the drivers seat and sits in the back angrily. She has to sit on the floor since all the other seats in the car are filled with Simon, Maia, and Steelie, with me in the front.

"Were did you want to go?" Jace asks, looking towards Izzy in the back.

"The Pandemonium Club."

When we get in the club, Izzy goes right to the bar. And I don't hesitate to follow her up to the bar.

"What's wrong?" I ask her. She whips around to face me. I attempt to come close to her and she backs away. Ouch, that hurt.

"Clary, there is nothing you can do to make me feel better! I loved, i love Simon, and now I learn he's going out with Maia! And that's not it. If you can't tell me that you didn't lose your virginity to Sebastian then walk away." She glares at me with tears in her eyes. I open my mouth to speak but there is nothing to be said. She nods with understanding and struts away.

I don't know how long I can live this life anymore. I turn to walk away, and I walk right into Jace. I trip over my own feet and nearly fall on the ground. Way to go Clary.

"You okay Clary?" I don't respond so he pulls me up. "Want to dance?" he holds out his hand and I take it.

"You look beautiful, you know that right?" he brushes his lips on my ear as I blush. We sway across the dance floor as they play the first slow song of the night.

"Thanks Jace." I smile as the tears gather up in my eyes. He is the only person to call her beautiful besides Sebastian.

I gasp as we start kissing. I pull him closer and he depends the kiss. We are now the only two people in the room. I only care about him, and he only cares about me. He suddenly breaks the kiss.

"You have a boyfriend Clary." I back up as he shakes his head before turning around and walking away. Now I need a drink.

**Word Count: 503**

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! Hope you enjoy your new chapter

Happiest chapter yet!

(Izzy's POV)

Why am I acting like a little girl? I've never felt like this before, and why should I start? He's just a nerd.

"You okay babe?" the random guy I'm dancing with asks, kissing my neck. I lightly push him away before walking away. I can't do anything with him. He's not what I want. Yes, he's hot, but he's boring. I don't want this loser; I want a Simon.

(Maia's POV)

"Hello Jorden." I walk up to my ex whose sitting at the bar. He has a drink in each of his hands, one for me and one for him. 

"I see you have been doing well." he gestures to the seat next to him for me to sit in.

"You look well too." and it's true too. He looks healthier than the last time I seen him, and full of life too.

"How's you relationship?" he asks in a bitter tone. I don't ask him how he knew I was in a relationship. We didn't end on the best terms, and I don't think he's quite over that yet.

"Very well actually, thank you for answering." I want to tell him everything, that I'm only using Simon to make him jealous, but how do I know he wouldn't just laugh in my face? And what if he tells Simon? He'd be heartbroken.

"Maia, I know you are in a relationship and all, but I'm still in love with you! Can we just forget everything and start over again?" I smile before crashing my lips onto his.

"What about your boyfriend?" And for a second I had forgotten about him. 

(Clary's POV)

As I walk to the bar, someone grabs my arm. For a second I panic, then I turn to see it's Isabelle's friend Steelie.

"Hey! I'm going to get a drink, I'll talk to you later." In response she squeezes my arm. I think she's going to let me go, but her grip just tightens. 

"No, you are coming with me NOW Clarissa Morgenstern." my father's last name makes me pale. Frozen in fear, I let her drag me to a corner that no one is making out in. Once we get there I pull myself out of her grip.

"How do you know my last name?" Questions start to swirl in my mind. I don't even get half of them out before she cuts me off.

"I have pictures of you and Jace kissing. I know everything. I know about Sebastian. I know about your father. Stay away from him or I'll tell everyone everything. I'll show Sebastian the pictures. STAY AWAY FROM HIM HE'S MINE!" my heart stops. I never wanted this. I never wanted friends. I never wanted Jace. I just want my old life back.

(Isabelle's POV)

I stalk up to Simon who is is at the bar alone. He sits there, more nerdy and beautiful than ever.

"He Simon," I play with my nails a bit, a nervous habit of mine. I can't understand why I'm nervous, he's just another guy I like.

Only he's not like the others. He's smart, funny, talented, and Simon. But I want him to be my Simon. 

"Hey Iz." he sounds a bit sad. He offers me an onion ring from the plate that's in front of him, and I quickly decline with a wave of my hand.

"What's wrong Simon? You sound a bit sad, and that's not like you." I figure that's a good point to stop my rambling. My palms are sweaty due to my nervousness. Why am I so nervous? Just say it!

"Maia broke up with me." I start to smile, then I remember how it would look to him. So instead, I put my best sad smile for him.

"I am so sorry Si," I say putting my hand ontop of his. He smiles.

"What are you smiling about?" I ask him, laughing and smiling with him.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." he grabs my hand and I blush. Luckily, it's dark so he can't see me.

Perhaps I can tell him of my feelings another time.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the advice and reviews/comments (or whatever they're called). Hopefully this chapter is better than the others (it's the longest so far)

**(Clary's POV)**

The wind blows in my face as I reach the door of the Lightwood's house. After I talked to Steelie, I ran out of the club. After all this time, you would be freaked out out too if you found out you had a stalker.

I thought maybe I could finally be happy, even if it wasn't in my house. Before we moved, I had been taking online classes. I would hardly ever leave the house. John (he isn't- wasn't Sebastian) convinced my dad to finally let me go to school. Maybe this is my punishment for being happy.

Ready to go inside, I check the door to make sure the door is not locked. I could knock, but I don't want to have an awkward conversation with Alec. Him and I haven't really ever spoke before, and I don't really want to explain myself.

As soon as I walk through the door , I wish I had knocked. Alec and Magnus are having a make out session on the couch. Alec has his shirt off, which has been discarded on the floor. Magnus is running his hand up and down Alec's chest, earning a moan from him.

"My eyes! My innocent eyes!" before my hand can even reach my eyes Alec jumps off Magnus. Alec is about the same red color as my hair while Magnus is smiling like and idiot.

"Hello biscut." No matter how hard I try I can't shake the dumb nickname he gave me.

"Don't worry, I'm going upstairs." I haven't really been past the living room, them having an upstairs is just a lucky guess.

Once I get up the the stairs, I am faced with another problem. Which room is which? None of them have any indication of which one is which, but one of them has a DO NOT ENTER sign hanging on the door.

"Clary," Alec says nearly scaring me to death. He puts a hand on my arm, making me turn to face him.

He has mostly recovered from the incident earlier. He put his shirt back on (thank the angel), and he only has the tiniest shade of pink left on his cheeks. He looked so embarrassed it made me want to laugh. But, then I remember why he's embarrassed.

"Don't worry, it's not your fault. I should have knocked." maybe it was a little of their fault. I mean, they could have made out in Alec's bedroom.

"Please don't tell anyone about this." Alec practically begs. The only thing that doesn't make it begging is the fact he's not on his hands and knees.

"That you were making out or that you were making out with Magnus or that you were making out on the couch?" I respond, a bit confused. If I were them, I would be most worried about the whole making out on the couch thing.

"Any of it." he runs a hand through his hair and I just nod. Alec turns to leave but before he does, we hear a voice coming from down the stairs.

"Hello Alec! Me and your father came back early! Surprise!" she pulls Alec into a bone-crushing hug.

"You didn't have to mom," he responds, barely able to breathe. His mom plants a kiss on his forehead before letting him go.

"Max mossed you guys so much! Besides, it'll be nice to finally sleep in my own bed." he just sends her a tight smile in return. I'm guessing she couldn't tell because she turns to me.

"Who's your friend?" before Alec cab respond, I do it for him.

"Clary Fray. I'm in Isabelle and Jace's homeroom." she smiles and shakes my hand.

"Tell Izzy and Jsce to come home, they can bring their friends too. We're going to have a family and friends dinner."

_~ 1 hour later ~_

Me and Izzy silently help Mrs. Lightwood (she told me to call her Mayrse) set the table. Simon and Max are talking about Magma, while the other boys catch up on life.

"Everyone! Come to the table for dinner!" Mrs. Lightwood (old habits die hard) calls. Everyone runs into the room and surround the table. Alec sits in the chair near the end of the table, where Magnus decided to sit next to him. Max and Izzy are sitting next to Magnus, leaving me no choice but to sit between Jace and Maia.

"So what's new?" Mr. Lightwood asks, and I see Alec slightly flinch. Nobody notices but Magnus, and he whispers something I can't hear into Alec's ear.

"Well Izzy made a new friend." Jace tells his parents (which he looks nothing like).

"Mmhmm, yes, seems like a very nice lady. Her and Alec were talking earlier in the hall, they seem like a very nice couple." Alec spits out his drink and Jace visibility chokes.

"Mom, we and Clary aren't like that." I blush like crazy and hold my head down. Me and Alec haven't even held a full conversion, and even if we had, Alec is gay. Doesn't his parents know that?

"That's such a shame, she's such a pretty and nice girl." I blush even harder (if that is even possible at this point).

"Well, he doesn't like her so get off his case!" Jace almost shouts through gritted teeth. Everyone goes silent for a few moments, then Alec stands up.

"I have something to say." he looks to Magnus who gives him a reassuring smile.

"Mom, dad, I'm gay."

The whole table starts to talk at once. Laughter, screams, countless words.

"Haha, good one Alexander, on with the good news." Mrs. Lightwood says.

"What turned you gay?" his father  
asks.

"Your not gay your just confused."

"I knew it!"

"That's it!" his father shouts, silencing the whole table, He points at Magnus. "Get that fag out my dining room!" Maia jumps from the table to let Magnus out, even though we're sure she's not coming back. I'm actually glad Steelie didn't come back, she would have told the whole school.

"Clary, Simon, take Max upstairs and do whatever nerds do these days." Normally I would be offended, but his voice is so cold I just do what he says, leaving the Lightwoods to their family business.

**(Isabelle's POV)**

My dad gets up and punches Alec hard in the face, knocking him on the ground.

"You disgrace fag! You should have been a girl!" I cover my mouth so nobody could hear the sobs coming out of my mouth.

Before he can kick Alec again, Jace covers his body with his own. Jace gets kicked in the leg, causing him to fall to the ground with a groan.

"Are you a fag too? You probably made him like that!" my dad punches him in the face. I'm pretty sure it's going to leave a mark.

My mom, like me is frozen with shock, especially when Jace gets back up and retaliates. He throws a punch that hits him square in the jaw. That's when I snap out of it.

"Stop!" I scream, jumping in the middle. Fists are flying everywhere even when I jump in. I get punched in the stomach by one of them, I honestly don't know which. Everything freezes when I hit the floor.

"Kids, go to your rooms." my mother's voice is quiet but everyone hears her just fine. Alec tries to pick me up but I wave him off.

"I'm fine," I lie. My stomach hurts so bad I think I might pass out.

**(Clary's POV)**

Isabelle didn't say anything about what happened when we left the room. In fact, she didn't say anything at all. She just gestured to her bunkbead filled with stuffed animals on it before going to the bathroom to change.

That's what I'm worried about. Nobody said anything about what happened. Alec and Jace had already retreated back to their rooms before Izzy came to get me, since Max wanted Simon to stay with him. Izzy just shrugged, taking me with her to her room.

Dispite almost everyone else asleep, I could still hear Alec's sobs through the walls.

**Word count: 1354**


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the reviews/comments! Sorry it's been so long, I haven't been feeling well lately, hope this chapter meets your expectations!

**(Clary's POV)**

_Three weeks later_

And things only got worse.

The beatings got even harsher and more brutal. I can't wear short sleeve shirts or shorts anymore. He doesn't usually hit me in the face but he did today. Now my face is caked with makeup.

Sebastian is getting worse too. He abuses me more frequently. Bruises are imprinted on my ribcage from when he kicks me. I think he likes to see me weak and helpless before he gets what he wants from me.

I self harm now. I know. It's stupid with all the pain in my life already. It's just an escape for me. It all started when I got the first text from Steelie.

Your a worthless bitch

I tried to tell myself she's a nobody. She doesn't mean a thing to me. I haven't even known her that long. That doesn't stop the words from putting a hole through my heart.

Hey slit you could stand to lose a few.  
Why are you even alive?

Each time it feels like she's stabbing me in the heart. At some point you get tired of crying because it doesn't work.

Don't let me get started on my school life.

I don't talk to Izzy, Alec, Jace, Maia or Magnus anymore (not that I have seen Alec anyway). I guess it's because I can't Jace the way I want to. If Steelie found out he wouldn't want me anyway. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Maybe I should just let go.

**(Isabelle's POV)**

My parents are getting a divorce.

I knew they were having issues in their marriage, but not to this extent. My mother once told m that my dad had cheated on her. I wondered why she didn't break up with him, and she told me she had a baby on the way.

That baby could have been me. I could be the reason why my mother stayed with a cheater.

The divorce is forcing me to think about stuff I don't want to. Who is getting Jace? Who wants Alec? Who is keeping Max? Who is keeping ME? I just can't afford to think about these things.

Alec is depressed.

My father has put him on internal punishment, basically banning him from seeing Magnus. He want as far as to not even let him go to school! It's been driving Magnus insane too. He's been missing him like hell. Sometimes he gives me letters to give to Alec, whihc I happily do. One day this week dad caught Alec with one so now me, Jace, and Max are banned from seeing him too.

What bothers me most is he can do whatever he wants when he gets 16, which isn't too far away. What if he leaves without a trace? What if he never wants to see us again? What if I loose my older brother forever?

**(Jace's POV)**

Frustrated.

That's my feeling towards the las few weeks of my life.

Normally, a person would be worried about their family. How is Alec doing? How is Max taking it all? What is Izzy thinking? Dont get me wrong, I am worried about them. But my mind is stuck on Clary.

She's been avoiding us for 3 weeks! And it's all my fault.

I shouldn't have kissed her. I shouldn't have asked her to dance. I shouldn't like her. I shouldn't be falling in love with her.

I guess that's what I get. I shouldn't try to be in a real relationship, they are deadly.

You hear these lovesick people making songs about getting their heart broken, and you think "oh that's fake, it doesn't happen to anyone." Well, it does. And I can't afford to let it happen to me. I can't waste time moping around because I got rejected by a girl who I am deeply in love with, I shouldn't be that open anyway.

That doesn't stop me from liking her though. And still, that doesn't explain her avoiding us. Well, I'll have to ask why if I see her in the hall.

**(Clary's POV)**

After lunch, the halls are pretty much empty. Well, you'd expect that since everyone's at a pep rally. Except me.

I don't much like that. Besides, the less I have to see of that bitch the better.

"Hey, Clary, wait up!" who better to interrupt my quiet time then the whole reason why I'm in this mess.

Jace Herondale.

I try to walk faster nut I know he will just catch up. So I just turn around to face him.

"What do you want?" I snap at him. He looks hurt for a second but that doesn't stop him from coming to me.

"Can I walk with you?" he smiles at me and it takes all the power within me not to smile back. Instead, I send him a scowl.

"Not that I have much of a choice." I walk along, expecting him to follow. When I realize he's not by my side, I turn around to face him.

"Why have you been avoiding us? If it's my fault, don't blame Izzy, she has many real friends an-" I cut him off, my anger coming out on him.

"Do you think this is about you?" my words are full of venom as I speak, "okay fine, let's make this about you." he tries to cut me off but I continue talking, "I hate you Jace Herondale! I hate you, stay out of my way stay out of my life! And I don't want to hear your sorry ass apologies!" I run away before I could register the look of hurt on his face.

When I get to the nearest bathroom, I cry until I can barely breath and I'm puling my guts out. I can't take this anymore. Everything I said was a lie.

 _I love him._  
I love Jace Herondale

Word Count: 989 

 


End file.
